Golden Gang Online is a humorist blog created by Catalyst. We hope you enjoy the posts.
March 2009 – Dad takes a trip out of country. Actual post to him on an incident we call the Rise & Fall of Mom.
Dear Dad: First of all we know you are out of country so we have been practicing: Ladre Corteza que Adoramos Usted!
Now, the big news. We have been trying to take care of Mom while you are gone because she gets a bit testy and lonely when you are gone. She tries to rise to the occasion and is all cheerful like but she does tnd to snuggle with us more when you are not here. Well yesterday she was upstairs working and someone came to the door. We all rushed to the stairs and like good dogs we waited until she went first. We are not sure exactly what happened but all of a sudden her feet went up in the air, she bounced off one wall, did a double flip over and then plowed through our puppy gate, and smacked the floor with her head. At first we thought she had decided to practice “How to Fall down Stairs” from the Disaster Calendar given to Nana and Grand-pa at Christmas but frankly it called for zig-zag motions in falling and she failed the test. Anyhow, we looked down with utter amazement on our faces. Hearsay and Piper said “perhaps she is getting ready to join the circus” because she sure can flip over fast. She jumped up and said “ta-da” with a goofy look on her face. Then we got a bit worried as she seemed to not know our names..sort of like “who am I..where am I”. We came downstairs and Piper was scared so she ran to her bed but Hearsay and I casually sauntered up to see if she wanted us to paw clap or lick and kiss her. She had this slow smile over her face. Sort of like when she drinks that red wine you like. She went to the phone and called Nana and Grand-pa Dave and ultimately they came and took her to ER. (Wow! Grand-pa cancelled his lucrative appts and was out the door in 2 minutes to come get her. Better than paramedics). She got a prescription for some pain meds and a McDonald’s. Frankly I think the McDonald’s helped the best because she crawled into bed, moaning a bit, and was at least able to sleep.
Now I know you might be worried but here’s our take. We think she rattled her brain a bit because she kissed Hearsay this morning and told him to have a good day at work. She hugged Piper and said she was the best Mom in the world. She then looked at me and told me to make sure I got the QuickBooks downloaded Friday. I think she is a bit confused over who is who. But just rest assured Nana and Grand-pa are on top of things and are coming by to check on her, called last night and called this morning.
The only other thing we wanted to tell you is that we know how important your work is and we were trying to think how to help so we decided if you could show a photo of us to your boss maybe we could become the company mascots. They may prefer cows in fields but we think we are cuter with the green tractor (go figure).
Finally we love you and miss you very much and hope you do well. Be careful of those guys in the camaflauge suits and maintain low profile. Please keep in shape so you can run fast. But also know that the people in South America are some of the best.
Love Buckeye (with great input from Hearsay and Piper